nah pop, no style

There’s a church right on the same block of Smithfield as the building where I work; it’s called the Smithfield United Church of Christ. It has one of those little signs that they change every few days to feature a new clever quote. Most of them are a step up from the “God answers knee mail” thing, but not amazingly great. Once, though, it said:

There are plenty of businesses like show business.

And that made me laugh. This week, it also made me laugh, because it said:

To know oneself, one should assert oneself.
- Camus

Since when is it acceptable protocol for a church to go around quoting Camus? What’s next, the line from The Myth of Sisyphus about how the only real philosophical question is that of suicide?

PS — super obscuro complicated pun in the post title. 10,000 points if you “get it.” Don’t sweat it if you don’t. Just act like you do.

Know what I like doing? Mowing lawns. No joke. (I see you getting ready to make a snide reference, Heather M*ll, so don’t bother.) So I was kind of disappointed to find that yesterday when I visited the parents’ house, they had already mowed their entire huge plot, leaving me feeling kind of superfluous. I even have an MP3 player now, guys! Why do you have to be so self-sufficient? YOU’RE OF RETIREMENT AGE ALREADY!

But enough of my quarrels with my progenitors. On to my quarrels with chain bagel joints: I arrived at Bruegger’s this morning to find that those business hippies had TAKEN AWAY MY CHIPOTLE SAUCE. FOREVER. I don’t see how there could’ve not been demand for it; it was the best sauce they had. My favorite fancy sammich there is ruined. What reason have I to even go back? Couple that with the fact that turnover amongst staff there has been pretty high lately and I feel like I don’t even belong there anymore! Bring back the sauce and maybe we’ll talk, Bruegger’s.

What’s going on this week? SFJ lecture is tomorrow night at CMU. Andy Friedman, whom you may remember me writing about a month or two ago, is at Howler’s Wednesday night with some bands (Harlan Twins, Beagle Brothers) I’ve heard much of but never seen.

OH ALSO guess what guys I finally weeded out my little garden plot and am going to plant soon, once the ground dries up from today’s soaking rain. I have bush beans and Swiss chard and sweet peas and some things like that. I think I have Four O’Clocks, I love the way those things smell. Right? Right.

Here are today’s things:

• Tonight, friends Slingshot Dakota play at the Lava Lounge with Karmella’s Game — looking forward to seeing them!
• Today, my Sasha Frere-Jones story goes online. Also, I’ll be posting the transcript of the interview on FFW>> over the next few days, so if you’re interested, keep an eye on that spot.
• If there was something else I was meaning to post, I don’t remember what it was, so too bad. I’ll make another post later maybe if need be. The beauty of blogging.

Today, everyone knows who she is:

I try to keep a straight face, but I crack every time when we get to her saying “it was the guy in the back who doesn’t know who Catherine Baker Knoll is.” She reminds me of my aunt, only drunk.

Hi, folks. Sorry this is getting to be a weekly publication, like Newsweek or U.S. News or Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. I’ll try to do better for you all, but when you write all day for a living, at the end of the day you generally want to do things like watch TV or run around in the sunshine, not write more.

By way of a recap, checked out Beach House Friday night — I was standing in the back and couldn’t see much of anything, but I’m sure they were pretty. Their music was pretty too; like most bands with the two person, drum machine schtick, they didn’t deviate much from the plan, but at least it sounded good, so I’ve got no complaints, really. Their new album is fun to listen to.

Elsewise, I celebrated more family birthdays (seriously, there are getting to be too many people in my family — I’m gonna get like Jim in that one episode of The Office and demand that we consolidate a whole bunch of birthdays into one celebration).  I also did the thing I’ve been meaning to do for a while and bought a damn mp3 player, and consequently went on a pretty long, satisfying run (long to me isn’t necessarily long by runner standards, but you know.)

This week, hoping to keep it chill — will be checking out friends Slingshot Dakota along with Karmella’s Game (about whom I write here) on Thursday night at the Lava Lounge. And Allies et al are playing Friday night at the BBT; it’s Joel’s birthday (WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT BIRTHDAYS) so come out if you care about that precious lil guy.

Maybe I’ll actually comment on real things other than what I’m doing soon.

Long time since an update, eh? I’ve been busy. Suck it up.

I was so busy with real work last week that I missed out on my chance to comment on such obviously hilarious news developments as a boob job for a woman named Mammarellli.

Today over at FFW>> is the debut of a new feature cleverly named MP3 Monday; watch out for that. We’ll be upping the review content on there soon as well.

Tonight is Naomi Klein at CMU (7PM, McConomy Auditorium). But I don’t think I’ll be making it. There are seasons when, if I attended all the things I wanted to, I wouldn’t have time to do things that are good for me, like buy/cook fresh food and sleep. Wednesday is the New Yinzer event at ModernFormations, and Thursday I’ll likely check out Lucero (about whom I wrote last week) at Mr. Small’s with the Elainafriend.

This was the first semi-beautiful weekend of the year, and therefore I was sick. This happens every year, and I’m not sure if it’s a cold or allergies or both, though it started with a sore throat and Zyrtec isn’t kicking it, implying it’s an actual cold or some such thing. So while I would’ve liked to have been hanging out outside doing active things more, I settled for, yknow, cooking asparagus, and playing with the nephews.

This week is all about prep work: a little bit of writing for the paper, a little bit of an intimidating interview that I have to get ready for, getting prepped for an eventual cover story . . .

Also, by way of some heads-ups(?), there are about 1000 things going on this Saturday night (whereas there were like 1 last Saturday), and one is Screaming Females playing a “Gay-Straight Defiance” party at Belvedere’s. I’m hoping to make it. Also Andrea Parkins, an experimental musician from NYC who came from Murrysville of all places, plays at Wood Street Galleries that evening. Check this week’s City Paper for details on that.

ALSO The Office and 30 Rock return this week and I’ll miss it on account of being at a fancy restaurant eating fancy food. I hope I can tape it or whatever (that’s right, no Tivo here . . .)

PS — many fantastic dreams this weekend. I’ll try to update you on that soon.

I’ve had numerous dreams lately, and several just last night, ranging from mundane to recurring to fantastic. I shall share the latter with you presently:

I was helping on the sidelines at football game (not a pro game, just some dudes playing on a field somewhere, but it was organized) and then it turned into a movie that I was in, and the coach got really angry and became Napoleon and he flipped out and a small building made of sticks collapsed on him then I and some others threw rotting fruit at him.

Napoleon was even wearing that hat like in the painting where he’s on the horse. Not kidding.