Seems that there has been a pile-up in the schematics of my site, what with starting this vacation on Monday and posting on Wednesday and performing various other activities I between that I haven’t posted about yet. But let’s get serious. I began my In-Town Odyssey on Monday morning. The big story of the morning was the Steelers laying down new sod in Heinz Field for our Monday Night Football game that night. The first thing I began to love about my vacation time was that I had plenty of time to rise early at 8 AM, hit the grocery store, pick up a paper, and make myself an enormous and filling breakfast. I would post this on 7-Inch Slam, but I forgot my login for our upcoming Wordpress site. So that’s a bummer. Here’s the grub. On the menu:

Egg-white omelet with salsa, garlic, and colby-jack cheese
Corned beef hash (oh yeah!)
Euro-style croissant
Banana
Special K mixed with Grape-Nuts and strawberries (my all-time cereal fave!)
OJ
Espresso from the moka pot (I have recently acquired some new espresso cups)

Anywho, after tearing through the morning’s news I decided I’d go check out the new dinosaur exhibit at the Carnegie Museum of Natural History that was running till the end of next month. I hadn’t been to this section of the museum in quite awhile, and what better way to fritter away the hours of the day than actually learning something in a wild Jurassic mindfuck of an exhibit? On my way to the bus stop, I had fumbled through my pockets to discover that the mess of lint and guitar picks and loose change in my jeans and empty space in my wallet obscured the fact that I’d lost my bus pass. I tore back into my house and out, hastily grabbing three quarters and racing down the block and just barely nabbing a 54C. The weather was off to a less than cheery start and as I boarded the bus I shook off the sheet of rain that had soaked over me in a minute and a half.

By the time I arrived in Oakland, I was all jazzed up and ready to learn, but not so interested in paying eleven bucks. After circling the joint a few times and stopping off for two Dogfish Head, I hit upon a pretty good plan (hint: pamphlets and hot tea) and soon I was mingling with the field trip elite and reliving the glory days of exhibits long standing and exploring new wonders in a glorious haze of enlightened science and natural wonder. I got some great pictures of some exhibits, and since everyone in the joint was snapping away for some iPhoto slideshow to supply the upcoming family reunion or newsletter, I feel justified in showing off some of the killer stuff I saw. And just so you know, if you’re new to the city, the museum has way more than this to offer. I did my best to capture what I was diggin’ on, though. Grab a seat:

Imagine seeing this when you’re five years old. I did. This is one of the most violent and frightening and downright awesome museum exhibits I know of. A desert traveler riding a camel fighting a lion? Jesus! This one has been standing for a long time and I hope it never goes away because everyone draws their kids a little closer when they walk by. Wimps!

And now we enter what the Artist would call his “Bear Period”. We can just reach an understanding and remember that this is obviously my favorite part.

Hello majestic and noble North American bears. Tread lightly over the rough landscape, your Valhalla of salmon and uninterrupted sleep await you in the land of your ancestors. I wish you well in your quest.

Uh oh, someone looks spiffy in their new jacket, despite the chance of possibly becoming prey.

Did you ever read Budding Prospects by T. Coraghessen Boyle? I did when I was a young man when my mom left it lying around the house. It remains one of the books that kickstarted my interest in writing and hopefully continues to deliver inspiration when I want to read something truly funny. Anyway, in the book, a marijuana harvest is nearly destroyed by a large bear who begins to dine on the profits and becomes a bloated, stoned behemoth nestled in the thorny underbrush. I like to think this is the same bear.

I don’t think I harshed any bear mellows too badly, though.

I love polar bears, but I consider them the equivalent of the grizzly’s snooty New England cousins who stay for a night and piss on your parade because you don’t have any sound investments yet.

I went to the Discovery Room with a bunch of screaming three year-olds because you could touch stuff. Touching this fake bear’s fur was AWESOME.

Here’s some more cool shots:

Not the lame band.

Tusk Lord.

Destroying Angel sounds like a boss in Final Fantasy VII.

After awhile, I just pretended I was on a nature show in the Savannah in Africa.

This is the coolest map of Pennsylvania I’ve ever seen. Just sayin’.

Alright, enough of that. Let’s dig up some bones!

There are lots of brand-new dinosaur names. I thought I was reasonably well-versed, but there were all kinds of great new types I’d never heard of. That in itself is worth a look. I am showing off about 40% of the ones I saw. This ain’t a P2P blog, mayne.

I thought this enormous fish was pretty boss. I was also stoked to learn taking pictures without a flash actually works. But I generally leave that to the professionals.

“I said SHUT… THE… FUCK… UP!”

Always a classic.

This is an allosaur, if I remember correctly. It fits the standard physical description, but my mind escapes me. This dinosaur was brought to my attention by a lil’ strip that heaped its benefits on me for my entire reading life: Calvin and Hobbes (good link here). Also, looking pretty good here if I do say so myself. I am really loving that new jacket.

Bummer bitch. But your friendly neighborhood shitty bank branch is happy to keep you informed.

Here’s a very large sea turtle for Mantooth.

I hung around for an hour or two and really enjoyed myself. Even though I was alone, wandering through the museum did more for me than cursing existence in my drafty room could have done. If anyone wants to swing through again, gimme a heads-up! More to come tomorrow… maybe a lil’ pinball? Little boozin’? Little ragin’? Only time will tell!