And so begins my Pittsburgh vacation. I was faced with a large allotment of personal time from work this year. Normally, I would take a trip and get my kicks in some other exotic American locale. But this year, Southwest and company decided to make airline flights quite hefty, so I decided to just pocket the cash and hang out in town trying something new and wacky and fun/interesting everyday. I have some more stuff planned for posting tomorrow, and hopefully I can get some eating and records chronicled for 7-Inch Slam, and I figure I have some cool stuff to show off in our city, so get ready! My vacation begins…

So what do people do during the day in Pittsburgh if they’re not in the 9-5 world where everything sucks? Being shut up in an office eight hours a day for a significant chunk of my adult life gives me little chance to get on the streets and see what hard-hitting civic issues are going to affect me in the coming years. Since I currently reside in the South Side and am proud to number myself alongside the two-wheeled minority here in the Steel City, the opening ceremonies of the Hot Metal Bridge bike and pedestrian path today seemed to be the ticket to expand my blog towards a more Pittsburgh-centric focus, courtesy of our whip-cracking visionary, Andybot. Since it was a beautiful day, with a brisk, crackling wind sweeping over the river and streets, I suited up and pedaled over to the huge crowd. Now bear in mind, I’m no photographer. There’s a million better people than me out there to document our twists and turns and reflective moments, but I was there and I had a camera and it was fun, so get with it.

There was an enormous crowd swelling up on the edge of the bridge over on the Oakland side, and I noticed that I was one of the few without swank accessories, a two-thousand dollar bike, or a helmet. While I was freshly shaved and scrubbed and a little more presentable than the hippie bike contingent that seemed to pepper the fifty-somethings and yuppies stretching back to the Eliza Furnace Trail, I noticed a few dirty looks from the more staid members of the crowd. I would assume this was because I didn’t have sixty dollars to buy a piece of plastic to strap to my head. But anyway, moving on…

Considering this was my first ever “official ribbon-cutting”, I locked my bike to the bridge and walked up to the front of the crowd. No politicians seemed to be there yet, and a confused gaggle of cameramen, a girl holding the biggest scissors I’ve ever seen (apparently this does not just happen in the movies), and some aging hippies who were discussing the merits of biking when it was obvious that they were both straddling bikes and stroking their pony-nubs milled at the front and waited for the Mayor to show up. By then, I had grown bored of having to slide through a crowd of not only crotchety yuppies and retirees, but their bikes as well. So I went back to my bike and watched the news crews look for higher-ups to get the shindig started. From what I’ve gathered, public events like this are very similar to being in a touring band in an unfamiliar city: i.e. “hurry up and wait”.

Soon, a bunch of Cadilllacs and SUV’s started letting suits out to walk up to the bridge, where they went right past me. I saw a lot of stone-faced gents and suburban ladies in very fancy suits, and I noticed nearly everyone from County Executive Dan Onorato to Mayor Luke Ravenstahl had handlers who did most of their talking for them. Pretty strange to see up close.

I don’t even know who this guy is, but he had one.

And who is this joker?

The Mayor was to lead the first group of walkers (which I’m going to go out on a limb and say the people who don’t ride bikes or will use the trail, or the retirees who have time to support these things) across the bridge, then the cyclists would make the second pass. Then it was onto neighborhood outdoor conglomerate REI for some kind of reception. I heard there was food, so I figured I’d swing by. Here’s the Mayor looking pissed about something. I went to college with this guy. He was a square, then, too.

Anyway, someone started cheering up front by now, and I supposed this meant the giant scissors did their part, so I hopped on my bike and tried to ride across to experience the fresh new sensation of not having to make the risky and cramped journey across the Hot Metal anymore. It was slow-going. I must say, I’ve never been one for event planning, but I figure most people who have the experience to even attempt to put together a shindig like this would be able to grasp the concept of slow-moving people on feet and rollerblades (blech) slowing down 500 bike riders on a bridge path that measures about twenty feet in width. So I alternated between just standing on my pedals letting gravity pull me and just walking my bike and admiring the exquisite view of the city to the West.

The bridge is extremely well-constructed, though. And when the fanfare is over, it will be a great ride. Here’s the other end of it.

Soon, I made it over and slowly drifted over to REI, where a multitude was grazing outside the doors. It was a packed house.

Also, I noticed there are some extremely wack-looking bikes out there. These are not for the handicapped… I saw goons pedaling them then strutting around a few moments later. WHATEVS.

First, my hopes were dashed from the get-go since there was no free food to be found. Caribou Coffee was not much of an incentive to stay in the back, so I slid through to document the press conference inside with Luke and Dan Onorato and the folks in the Conservation Department or Parks Division or something, who knows? I checked it out and got up front and listened for awhile. The Mayor gave a spiel about connecting our trail system coming to an end, which is great, but then he went into an aside about American Eagle expanding and new projects developing here in the Shithead Central shopping district known as the South Side Works. But he needs something to talk about since it was according to him “the biggest, most well-attended press conference” he’d ever seen. That in itself is pretty cool.

Here’s some of the press conference in front of the rock climbing wall:

Pretty soon I was pretty bored, but I did pick up from Onorato that only nine more miles need connected for our trails to reach all the way down to Washington, DC. So get stoked! What else did I learn?

What do politicians do, really? Aside from smoky backroom deals and shady vehicle-hopping to shitty “new hot country” concerts, people just generally stand around and wait for things to happen. Everyone is so concerned with their own agenda that they show up right before they’re about to go on, do a little show, then split. Aside from having to buy a ton of suits and shoes, I could do that. Maybe my mayoral campaign idea wasn’t the worst I’d ever thought up. And the people who support these causes? Wow! I would love to do whatever they do, which I’m going to assume is live off old money in Shadyside and bitch about the air conditioning all day. All day long I listened to the conversations of everyone around me, and for the most part, people complained. Bikers on the bridge were angry about waiting for the walkers. Organizers were angry about the event’s timing. All the politicos were angry about all the other politicos and how they chose to spend the competing political party’s money. Regardless, this was the first civic event I’ve ever really attended and it was really interesting for a day. Hopefully someday I’ll be able to toss off the shackles of my day job and run around all day long doing nothing and getting paid for it, but until then, this brief respite from the workaday world will have to do. More coming up! Pittsburgh has plenty more happening this week.

Today’s link: Bike Pittsburgh! Pick up one of them thar maps!