What is up:
Apparently I’m a huge sports fan. It might be more accurate to say that I was in emotional and physical turmoil for the last 3+ months and have been using sports to escape from it. Which is not to say that I don’t love sports. Last night Chomps and I watched one of the ESPN “30 for 30″ features. This one was about Muhammad Ali; previously we watched one about how the Colts snuck out of Baltimore (which wasn’t as good). I like sports documentaries a lot, when they’re well done. Sports capture the trials of the human spirit and good filmmakers know how to emphasize that. A counter-example of this could be, say, this terrible attempt at sports drama filmmaking.
I was going to do the usual end of the year posts but was too busy having doctor appointments and applying to jobs. Both of those things are done with now…kind of. Allow me to explain.
I don’t have anything serious wrong with me, and I think my stomach and I are becoming friends again. I still don’t know if I’ll ever be able to drink more than one beer at a time though. That’s a little bit tragic. 2009 was definitely the year of health issues. I started off strong with panic attacks and stomach cramps. Then I started yoga and now I have visible muscle tone! I quit smoking completely, finally. I think that at last I’ve overcome my sophomoric detest of breaking a sweat. Being active seems like a good way to pass the time I used to spend drinking and carousing and being emo. This fire might have been flamed by the revelation that my dad had prostate cancer. He’s okay now. I think that definitely made me finally quit smoking, even though I uh..don’t have a prostate or anything. Anyways. To round out the health explosion I am taking an aerobic boxing class that meets twice a week. If, in April, I no longer get grossed out by feeling my butt fat bounce up and down when I jump rope, I will consider myself accomplished. Maybe the butt fat will even disappear? I don’t care about that so much. It’s just the nasty feeling of flesh moving up and down that I can’t stand. I think that’s part of why I hate running. In addition to the fact that it makes my bones feel jarred. I would really like to play some sort of team sport but it seems kind of hard to break into that sort of thing. If anyone made it through this entire paragraph and knows about fun team sports to play in Pittsburgh, lemme know.
Job/career stuff was the other thing that sent me into hibernation in my pit of despair. I got my MLIS. Whoopee now I can feel extra overqualified for my job that I can’t possibly quit! I am at a dead end unless I happen to be the lucky candidate (out of thousands of applicants) who gets an interview for one of the jobs I apply for. I don’t feel very inspired. I don’t have the free time to do anything to “build my skill set”. If I’m still working here in a year I’ll probably go get some other degree or something, like in computer science or art history or who knows what. For the past few months this situation was really getting me down. And making me super angry and resentful and any sort of bad emotion you can think of. But then I realized all those feelings were based on my assumption that I was somehow entitled to have a good paying steady job, and I was indignant that the world was denying me that. I don’t know why I always thought my life would go a certain way, and when it doesn’t I get pissed. Maybe because I’m middle class? Give me my privileges, damn it? Yuck. So I’ve crossed over and am just grateful that I have a job that pays my rent and buys me groceries and gives me a tiny bit of spending money. I realize that these things are privileges. I don’t like things about my job but it’s not miserable so I really, really shouldn’t complain. I don’t know if it’s the economy’s fault that my dreams are deferred or if I was just always naive in thinking I could achieve the sort of life where you can take real vacations and maybe even own a small house. Now that I’m not really expecting those things to happen, it will be much nicer if they actually do.
Maybe 2010 will be the year of blogging bluntly. I don’t know if I mentioned that I have another blog where I pretend to care about librarianship. j/k. I actually do care, most of the time. You can find it by googling my real name. I’m not linking to it because that would create a trail and this is supposed to be as stealthy of a blog as possible. I’m planning on doing some sort of epic post about my favorite sci-fi books of the last 10 years, and I’ll probably post it there and not here. So if you care about that, go there.
Other things that changed in the course of 2009, or, uh, like in the past two weeks:
I no longer kill houseplants. I am capable of nurturing them!
I have hair!
I have glasses.
We got a freakin’ plush new mattress and box spring that normally cost $1100 on sale for like $450 or something. No more back pain!
I changed my blog theme today.
We had a couples photo shoot because our families are begging us for pictures. Here’s a sample. Chomper and snaggletooth vs the world. FUCK YOU 2010 WE OWN YOU.
